My Blog

          these few days i’ve been talking to myself..and thinking to myself..as in..argueing with me in my head…it’s like me vs me…it’s giving me a headache…

          if you ask me to just stop doing it..i’m sry..i can’t…it comes randomly…i cant control it..it just suddenly starts..of all of a sudden a conversation with myself will start in my head…i’m wondering is it dat i’m crazy…aihx..

         i read a book before..it says dat your mind and your brain are 2 different things..the mind is a very powerful item..a powerful asset..if properly handled..it could be a good thing..if you can’t..it’ll bring disaster..

          it also says..we must control our mind not let our mind control yourself…it’s very hard…XS aihx…oh yea..it also asks us to ask ourselves who is the "I" in your head..or who is the "myself" in your head..it’s very puzzling…people always go to the phychiatrist(is dat how u spell it??) and say.."there’s a voice in my head.." in fact..everyone hears a voice in their head..right??

         aihx..i read d book halfway cz it’s nt mine…it’s my uncle’s…i was accompanying my aunt in d hospital then..(she had a surgery)..i was bored..so i read d book i saw..i forgot what’s it’s called..but i really wanna finish reading d book…aihx..

        so am i fighting with my mind to win control?? i wonder if there’s a war going on in my head…really..i do wonder..i think dat’s all i wanna say..i nid 2 search for pics..and watch vids..XD byex!!

         here i am…blagging again..whoops..i mean blogging…heheh..ah well..i blog quite often these days…but 2day…i seriously need to blog!! I was soooo angry 2day…

       2day got jazz chant ma…so start lo…cheered and everything…when prinia came up..d fukai stephanie cheng was in it…me, kar yen n suet yan was crossing our fingers..hoping she won’t DESTROY anymore tvxq songs..was hoping and praying…but GOSH!!!

      she "rapped" no..i wouldn’t call it rap..i would call it say..or conversing..or..talking..nah…she practically blurted out..she blurted out "sky" from tvxq….at first i din hear clearly..but i heard "end of sky"…gosh..den i told kar yen..den she told suet yan..aish aish aish…

     den when dey announced d winners..prinia got no.2!!! GOSH!!! like seriously…NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! like..NNNOOOOO!!!!!!!!! WHY DEM?????!!! i was like "fukai fukai fukai….!!!" gosh..i use dat work alot..XP anyway…fukai fukai fukai…why must she choose tvxq song?? dammit….ish ish ish…

     den dey nid 2 perform AGAIN!!! ish…den 2nd time listened C-L-E-A-R-L-Y!!!! man..i hate her..first she ruined "hug"…now "sky"…den there was 5 bimbos who danced "O" …tvxq..aihx..pity you to haf fans like dis…T.T

     tvxq tvxq tvxq….aihx…セテファに,僕わあなた大きらいです！！アイエンマ,お願い．．僕の恨み地獄え流します！お願い！T.T

じゃ。。。復ね！！序と待て…さよなら！！！

Last Friday…went for a trip to Kuala Sepetang..arrived at skul..opop send..cz thought got briefing..in d end dun haf..^^; swt…so mark attendance odi…line up to go up d bus…was in bus 1 wit junne, pq, n kar yen…while lining up..we just remembered dat we had 2 take vids..but it failed..T_T so we just went up d bus..pinq qing was shouting jap.."school desu!!".."ping qing desu!!".."junne desu!!".."kar yen desu!!".."yi jern desu!!!"…i was like -.-; den i said..school is gakeun…lolz..den she started shouting..den pn seow came up..she said.."sensei desu!" "okasan desu!!"…^^;

     so started moving..so bored..took some pics of d scenery..misty..den we stopped at a rest stop..took some pics there..lolz..i bought polo mint..den we we started off again..we arrived at d hutan paya bakau..got a short talk..watched a slideshow..pingqing was so hyper..kept on pointing to d animals she saw saying.."kar yen n jaejoong er.." "junsu n i-may with their kids ar!!" lolz..so ulu..den we went for a walk through d forest..took plenty of pics…d critters in d forest was miniature size..so small and very hard to spot..aihx..we saw wild boar dung too..heheh..

       oh yea..there were plenty of mosquitoes too..lolz..luckily none of dem bit me..i squished one..hehe..after d hutan paya bakau..we went to the charcoal factory..cz charcoal is made from bakau logs ma…gosh d air there..polluted like hell..can hardly breathe..so much smoke..dust..urgh…d logs were burned in an igloo..i mean a thing which has a shape of an igloo..it was so warm in it..i went into d "igloo"…gosh..it was like..an oven to bake humans in groups..i think i understand how d breads feel..T.T

      There was another batch of "igloo" for steaming d logs..d product was a brown liquid..it smells like sap..nt smelly..nt fragranted either…i touched..it was surprisingly cool..i expected it to be warm or hot wan geh..but it’s cool..funny..after the charcoal factory..we went to makan…ping qing belanja..^^ ありがと！hehhe…

     den we went to Taiping Zoo..first thing i see..monkeys..started to record a video..ping qing was pointing at a monkey and shouting "junne desu!! JUNNE DESU!!!!" lolz…den when i stopped d video and replayed it..my battery ran out of juice..aihx…shud have brought my extra batteries down with me..ish…T.T den we saw orang utans..gosh..so sad…one was sitting with it’s head hanging down as if it was in depression..you can clearly see that it’s losing fur..i pity it..the other 2 was just sitting there..doing nothing..isn’t the orang utans shud be swinging around?? gosh..

     den we saw d sunbears..OMG!! one sunbear came to the fence and looked at us..when we walked pass it..it followed us..gosh..as if it wants us to release it from the hell it’s in..when pq, jn n ky went ahead..i stayed behind a lil’ while then walk away..when d sunbear lost sight of me..it sat down on d ground and place it’s head between its 2 paws and started to make a sound..a crying sound..i almost cried…it’s just so sad..i called dem back..den dey we’re like very berat hati to leave it..so sad..T.T

         den we saw other animals..we came across a peacock..you can see it’s losing its lovely feathers…it wouldn’t open it..T.T den we saw d camels..gosh..you can see their ribcage…so thin…sad sad animals…oh yea..d wild boars..on d sign board it wrote "babi bodoh" like…wth la…of all names..babi bodoh?? aihx..den we saw a hyena..it was in a cage..a man was scaring it by kicking the cage..hyenas’ are supposed to be like..feirce animals..and here it’s afraid of a tiny human..and i could hear its’ babies crying for her..d hyena was pacing..it’s worried..pity the poor thing…T.T we stood there feeling sorry for it..but we can’t do a single thing..i felt so useles..

        and d snakes..aiyo..really pity dem..dey are so lifeless..all curled up on d ground..i mean in a glass prison…aren’t they supposed to be slithering on branches or move around..ok..maybe they are not moving cause they jz had a meal..or maybe they don’t have enough space to move..d glass prison was like just 1/2 metre wide, 1 metre long..so small…pity..

       oh yea..i saw a kangaroo..it’s lying down..aren’t kangaroos supposed to be jumping and leaping around?? or at least standing?? here they are..lying down..so…so…sad…then after the long and tiring walk through d zoo..we bought ice lollies..ate them..den went back up d bus..princess hours were playing on d tv in d bus..

     i watched it a lil’ while den slept…so tired..den we arrived at Kuala Kangsar..selling potteries as souvenirs…i din buy anything…den we went 2 d padang…near our bus there…and took a pic…lolz..den we went back to ipoh…slept on d way back…

    in conclusion..i pity d animals..and i actually expected d trip to be better…and more interesting…we shud haf visited d pottery site earlier and tried to make some pots to bring back..aihx..so dat’s all la…ppl..whoever read dis blog..pls..pray for the animals in d zoo..take pity on them…

ahahaha…new post…2 posts in 1 day..dis one is a different wan la…it’s bout 2day…gt miss mgs..^^

at first leh..i felt bored..i went 2 d back of d upper hall n read d murder book..i-may’s wan…den mei foong came..^^ den aish..i’ll skip these parts la..blah blah blah..form 4 came in..no idea why..den form 2 came in..ish!! isn’t dis supposed 2 be form 3 activity?? ish ish ish….

den cincai la..den gat zat join me n mei foong…heheh..den start luu..d contestants..my class is janna n nikkitha..nikkitha shudn’t join..she’s nt pretty oso..no offense..but dat’s what i think..i think peng han or pay leng or carynne or maybe gwyneth shud join..hoo kah yin oso can wan..but i heard she volunteered…cis..

     den question..question..blah blah…2nd round..gosh…talent…quite alot of ppl sang..cis..out of tune wan..*shakes head* wong kah yee played d "gu zhen" hehe..it’s quite boring at first..but i very pui fok her..well..cz i dun know how 2 play..i alwiz liked it..^^ den..janna danced.teh kah yee oso danced..gosh..teh kah yee’s dance.."ai ni" …she ruined it..fa hao..eee yer…den when d last person..stephanie cheng..GOSH!!! really..fukai her!! (fukai means unpleasent) fukai fukai fukai!!!! she sang "hug" …when i heard it ar…man..i was sooo angry…she sang out of tune!!! wana throw shoe odi.."ying sui sai" tvxq..ish..i nearly cried..gosh..i was so mad…><

    thank god she didn’t make it 2 d final round..phew..if nt really fukai her…ish…suet yan cried..lolz..so emotional..T_T then last round..questions..den catwalk..heheh..poor janna..got such a tough question..though i don’t really like her..but she’s representing our class..so..she gt bout astrounaut..so hard..but for jia min easy la..she said prepare food..etc..lolz..rubbish..hehehe…

so in d end..wong kah yee won..2nd was meng ying..it was quite expected..janna got 4th..she cried in class..tsk..teruk..like dat oso cry..tsk..ah well..wtv..

       then dat’s d end…hehehe…aihx…my abdomen hurts..yesterday at miss wendy’s class..gosh..stretch until ar…pq n junne oso pain..lolz..my thigh oso hurts…itai!! ほんとに痛いです！！じゃ、さよなら！！

  finally i have time to blog…no la..actually i still haf pics to see…but if i dun blog today…i’ll never do it..XD

what i wanted to blog was..bout a P.Ramlee movie i watched last saturday..it’s called Seniman Bujang Lapok….it’s HILARIOUS!!!! laugh my head off…lolz..p.ramlee is called ramli in d movie oso..so ok…

    ramli and his buddies went to audition/ try out for acting..ramli went first..his line was supposed to be "wahai adinda, <something> bercekarama, di bawah sinaran bulan purnama~" but when d director say action..he jz stood there..d director whispered to him "caaakkkaaappp.." he whispered back, "cakap apa?" lolz…den CUT!! d director said..kenapa saya kata action kamu tak cakap dialog kamu?" he replied.."kamu suruh saya action tak suruh cakap.." lolz..laugh like hell la…den take 2..action!!

ramlee: wahai adinda, <something> bercekarama, di bawah lampu minyak tanah~

director: CUT!! apa lampu minyak tanah pulak??

ramlee: boss..hari itu hujan, tunggu tunggu bulan tak muncul..

lolz!!!! dumb rite..den he failed lo…den his fren..sudin..i forgot what he said la..aish..goldfish brain la me..XD he failed oso..den another fren..he was in d toilet..he was afraid..lolz..den d director demo to him one time…different line dis time..it’s "Hei! hang jebat! Kamu cepat turun <something something>…" den ACTION!!

i forgot d name of d fren odi..he said: hei hang jebat! kau cepat turun sini..kalau kamu tak turun, aku akan naik pergi cari kamu..<something> aku sudah 5 kali buang air kecil, 3 kali buang air besar, sekarang aku mahu pergi buang lagi..buang sampai tadak air nak buang.." lolz…den d director said "CUT!!!apa kena dengan awak buang air??" dumb la…

somehow dey were so funny..dey gt hired..lolz..den dey haf 2 memorize a script la..so d next day..

ramlee: beta, satan aminor <something>

CUT!!!!

director: sultan! bukan satan!! XD

Action!!!

ramlee: <say correct>

fren: <said sumthing wrong n start again den correct, leave scene>

sudin: <as a bomoh, said correct>

ramlee: semalam, beta mimpi ada tahi lembu menimpa muka beta..apa maksud itu?

sudin: itu bermaksud ada masalah akan menimpa tuanku..

ramlee: oh..sebenarnya ia tersasar kena bahu sedikit..

sudin: oh..itu bermaksud tuanku akan menimpa masalah besar..

ramlee: ah..sebenarnya ia tahi lembu it menimpa director..

sudin: itu bermaksud director akan mati..

CUT!!

director: apa kena mengena saya dalam ini??!! <faints..to much pressure..>

lolz…farny la….u shud watch it..this is only a small part of it..other P.Ramlee movies i watched are..Labu Labi, Ali Baba Bujang Lapok, Pak Belalang, Seniman Bujang Lapok..dat’s all i think..it’s really funny la…lolz…

aihx..i typed so much in dis blog…new post!!!

aihz…i wanted to blog..but i have loads of pics to see…gah..

later la…

http://z11.invisionfree.com/JaeJoongsKitchen/index.php?

dat’s where i’m seeing pics..

see leng zai..hehehe..later!

   I think I’m cursed…seriously…cursed…it’s like…I dunno how to explain…but there’s something always pulling me back…weird things happen to me…scary things happen to me…

    Last night when i was casually watching tv..in the living room…i heard someone walking outside my house..it’s normal for me to respond to any weird noises…it was like..dat someone was dragging his feet on the road..so i looked..no one…

  I continued watching tv…den i heard the noise again..i looked into the darkness outside..i saw an indian man wearing a white singlet..making a whispering noise.."PSSSSTTT!! PPSSSSTT!!!" i quickly looked back at the tv..this had happened to me before..same conditions..watching tv..at night..i think it’s the same man…but last time i walked up and called my mum..den he was gone when my mum came..this time my mum was sleeping..so i ignored him..

         it’s scary..i know dat the man was looking at me…my heart thumped like mad…i hugged a pillow..continue to watch tv…after a few minutes..the man was gone..it was scary..at night..and indian man wearing a WHITE..i repeat..WHITE singlet..so scary…

        nt only dat..sometimes i feel like i’m cursed cause everytime i stop frm an extra class..d class sure shrink wan..like my piano class last time..i went to Yamaha..it was a huge block of building..after i quit..it shrunk into one block only..it was 3 blocks before..so sometimes i feel i caused it to happen..it’s nt a nice feeling….

        products oso…the products i use like shampoo..when i use them…u can see ads everywhere…on tv..etc etc…when i stopped using it…gosh..nowhere to be seen…after a few years…oni can see it again…so it’s like i’m a bad luck…

       and oh yea…things which i imagine or dreams i remember NEVER come true..like..i imagine going to tvxq concert vip standings with my friends..n couz…it did not come true..i couldn’t get a vip ticket…T_T fine..maybe dat’s an imagination to wild..then what about when i imagine simple things which i can get easily?? Like like..uhm…i duno…getting rewarded..like getting an ice cream..or going to somewhere for holidays with my parents..? i jz can’t get what i imagine…

         dreams too..whatever dream i remember..it is guaranteed not to come true..seriously…then..whatever i don’t remember..it’ll become a deja vu…i hate it…cz my deja vu’s are all stupid stuffs…simple stuffs…ntg big..somthing which are very normal which occurs in my daily life…

       it’s like i’m cursed….cursed to get what i don’t want and cursed of not getting what i want…some ppl are so lucky but they just do not realise it…ppl who think they are poor…but actually..they’re rich..aihx…..nevermind me…

        gosh….last night’s incident is still haunting me…i don’t wanna experience it again…it’s scary i tell you…seriously….XS

I’m nw writing this with a calm and cool mind…anger and frustration might be provoked later..BEWARE!

it all started when i told my dad bout d concert…and the ticket price..for VIP it’s rm500…expensive i know..but it’s VIP..VIP..if i buy it might get to touch their hands…it’s VERY VERY CLOSE TO THE STAGE!!!! seriously…

on sunday..junne smsed me saying she got d VIP tickets…my eyes went O.O so i smsed my dad asking whether can i buy dem anot…when he came..gosh..there it began…he said i was crazy…this was what he said to me.."RM500 can feed a whole family ar!!" "Jz bcuz ur fren go means u mz go la??!!" "I told u dat all ur frens are wild nw u oso follow dem wild.." "Ur frenz rich ma, dey can afford" and the nagging n insults go on…

then i thought to trade d phone wan geh..but he said.."I’d rather buy u a phone worth RM500 than to let u go 2 d concert!!" there went my last hope..crushed…smashed to pieces…and of course…i started crying..it’s a huge dissapointment..i’m depressed..

when i reached home..i hid in my room..my mom asked me..she was quite gentle with me..unlike my dad..she told me it’s nt safe..blah blah blah…den i said my cousin was goin with my aunt oso…den she went to call her..i fell asleep crying..

my cousin n aunt came..my couz came into my room..i pretended to continue sleeping..i thought dat she’d leave..but NO…she woke me up..i ignored her..den she said she’s nt goin unless she wins d tickets..dat time i felt dat she betrayed me..betrayed my trust..she told me dat she’ll go!!! i put high hopes on her!! damn i hate her now…when she’s in my room i wanted to shout at her "U said u were going!! NOW U SAY U’RE NOT??!! HOW CAN YOU?!! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!!" of cz i didn’t..cz it’ll jz make things worse..

den dey went home…i slept again..my eyes were very swollen frm all d crying..during dat nap..i dreamt dat i went 2 their concert..but it’s a lil’ weird…nt like d normal concerts everyone has..i was there with kar yen..no idea why..v had d cheap tickets..so v were behind..but one gud thing is..u can drive around d stadium go in circles..of cz..i saw junsu..n jae..wow..din c others..n u can buy drinks..n u haf a driver 2 drive u around..i remembe rsaying to kar yen.."i like our driver la..very ’sing mok’.." n she agreed with me..hehe..den poof!

back to reality…i woke up..bath..went 2 i-may’s party..gosh..my eyes are REALLY swollen…thank god no one asked me why..n it’s quite shocking dat jia min didn’t notice..i was with her all d time..cacat..oh yea..she wore PINK!! ahahhaha..

ok..back to depression…do u think i’m dealing with peer pressure?? maybe i am..my dad said if i continue on like dat he might nt let me be friends with my friends anymore..if dat happens..i wont haf anymore frens…maybe it’s my fault…i made friends with rich ppl..ppl hu can afford stuffs i can’t afford…rich ppl…gosh..i feel so inferior…

Perhaps my dad thinks i’m having peer pressure..n cant deal with it..but i think i deal with it jz fine..my frens haf nice clothes..what do i haf?? hand me downs..clothes which is nt wearable in public..my frens haf nice shoes..what do i haf?? a rugged hand me down shoe frm my bro..my fren..no everyone has coloured/camera phones..what do i haf?? a cacated phone..no colour..did i complain?? NO…did i ask for anything like dat??? NO!! And u think i cant handle with peer pressure??!! u’ve gotta be kidding me..i saved hundreds of ur precious money by nt goin 2 tuition!! nt goin 2 so many extra classes..!!!

*chill* ok…dat’s all i wana complain..i feel much better…^^

thanks to anyone hu read dis long and disturbing post of mine..^^

Days before PMR

Whoa..loads of paper to do…maths, geo, bm, bi, sej, etc…do until wana puke…urgh..now pile up bout 15cm tall oso gt ar…or more..imagine..how many trees are wasted…tsk..tsk..tsk….stress..stress…….

den on saturday..i slept at 4am…i woke up at 7.45am…i was shocked myself…it’s like 3 3/4 hours of sleep and i woke up all my myself…SHOCKING!!! i still couldn’t believe it…really…

PMR week

Bm on monday…gosh..i was depressed after paper 2…everyone was….waaaaaaa…

Tuesday-english and science…surprisingly easy peasy…of cz gt some hard questions la…XD

Wednesday-maths n sejarah…maths was Ok..sejarah was like moral..loads of nilai…ppl came out of d exam hall complaining..and oh yea..i drooled on my sejarah question paper..XD..i know it was gross…but i did drool…i didn’t know..when i woke up..i was like whoops…*wipe*..turn another side..*sleep*..aahhaha

Thursday-KH…i tembak a lot of questions..lolz..

Friday(today)-Geography….ok la….nt dat hard..nt very easy either…okok lo…

The second Geo paper is collected

Everyone cheered!!! i screamed!! so happy!!!it’s like a burden being lifted frm my back…what a relieve…^^

Overall-i carved my table with scribbles n scratches..hahahha…but i’m a little worried..cz my slip is there…hmm…nvm la…who cares!! ahahahha….PMR’s OVERRR!!!!! I can flush it down d toilet odi…muahahahhahaha…goodbye PMR!!!!!!! BUH BYE!!!!

*sry..to happy..sot liao..ahahah*

p/s:i forgot 2 mention…during PMR…i felt like something was sucking my energy out…like dat sumthing stucked a straw in my head and started sucking..*sluurrrpppsssllluuurrrrpppp**ahhh* i was so tired during PMR…luckily dat somthing went away after PMR..^^

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