My Blog

well…someone had read my blog…ahahah…and she feels offended….i don’t actually care..lol…"words can cut where knives can’t"…lol…that’s true..but ever heard of "you won’t know unless you’re in their shoes"….?

someone else won’t be able to experience what I’m feeling..and I can’t experience what others are feeling..so..everyone’s point of view is different..VERY different..some might find something like punk is a very good thing to follow..but to others..they might think those people are SICK SICK people..rebelious and rude bunch of kids..apparently..i’m in d middle..i do think punks are rebelious and a rude bunch of kids..but i also think their clothings are nice..

this is what i meant by VERY different point of views..there’s 360 degrees..when i look at something..i might look at it at a 97 degrees angle..others might look at it at a 97.6degrees angle..a slight difference..very slight..less than a degree..but that could bring a WHOLE lot of difference..no one thinks the same..not even twins..or a best friend..no one.."great minds think alike" ? sometimes..yes…maybe..i don’t know..

When 2 different people look at a problem..one might think it’s VERY easy to solve..just do this and that..the other might be scratching his/her head thinking very hard to solve that problem..experience makes things easier..exposure..yea..it’s not false..it’s true..but not everyone gets the chance to get the exposure..not everyone is that tough..everyone is a weakling at first..no one’s strong..some might be slower..some might be stronger..but no one’s that tough..

i might be very immatured…no wait..i am very immatured..if you compare me with the others..i’m sorry..but it’s me! I’m still learning..baby steps..i’m a very scaredy cat kind of person…someone who needs a lot of encouragement to do something..most of the encouragements come from others..but to me..it’s mostly from myself..or am i wrong? nah…no one knows..

if something is shallow to you…it’s deep for me..like i said…everyone looks from different point of views..i know i’m annoying..a lot of people told me that before..and if someone tells me that no one gossips about me..i tell you…i DON’T BELIEVE IT!! everyone is a backstabber..big or small..everyone is..i know there are plenty of people who hates me…

whether they tell it out anot..i don’t care..hypocrisy..everyone is a hypocrite…yes..everyone is a hypocrite..am i a spoilt brat?? yea..of course..who isn’t?? what you deal with and what i deal with is different…our parents are different..we are brought up differently..with different backgrounds..different teaching..etc etc etc…that’s why we have different personalities..

well…sometimes we get along..sometimes we don’t…i don’t care..i’ve already warned those who reads my blog..and i apologise..to those who had felt offended..so there…i’m done..

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i’m hungry…gotta go eat something first!! byex!

     yesterday’s tvxq concert…i did not attend it…honestly..i’m very sad about it…i’m also deeply jealous of my friends…of those who can get the chance to go..very very deeply jealous…i feel so unlucky…aihx…

     everytime junne,kar yen and pingqing talks bout it…i feel a stinging pain in my heart…i just feel sad…self pity…but i know i can’t show it..i dun wana spoil the excited feelings blasting out from them…i’d be a spoil brat if i do…

       i just really really REALLY hope they passed the wretched scrapbook which we made..with all our hearts..Junsu!! pls read it!! *prays* i just really really…hope…eventhough i cant go to the concert..at least a piece of my heart and me is there..

       JUNNE!!!YEN!!PINGQING!!! I DEMAND A FANCAM!!! lolz…nah..i dun think anyone fancam-ed junsu…dey rather fancam their faves…none of them like junsu..why? i dunno…

      if you ask me why i like junsu…most probably it’s because of his charisma…i think i like guys with charisma..like in 5566, i like 仁甫cause he’s always so talkative and happy and full of charisma..yea..i think i’m attracted to that..

      charisma…it’s something i think i lack…seeing someone so full of charisma..makes me wanna be with him/her…as a friend, as a fan, anything really…someone with charisma will complete me maybe? and…seeing that person who has so much charisma so sad..makes me sad too…maybe it’s like a piece of me is missing once again…it tears me apart…

       it’s very..or quite hard to find someone with so much charisma nowadays…and if you ask me "what about your friends??" i’m sorry to say…they are not charismatic..they are just talkative and wild..and really someone who gives me headaches when they shout unneccasarily…or ignores what i’m saying…

       i guess my dad is right…they ARE wild…yea…parents are always right…well..most of the times at least…i wished i didn’t get so close to them..junne,yen n pq i mean…kar yee and bx is alright…pui yan is a lil’ wild..well she is the one who always shouts unneccasarily…i hate it when she does that..it makes her sooo immatured…

       che said…a true friend is very hard to find…someone who goes through thick and thin together..like the ones you see in movies..people think those friends who they are close to are true friends…but they sometimes get it wrong….like me…some friends i think which i can keep is…kar yee..bao xin..though sometimes i hate her..but..she’s quite dependable when you’re in trouble..jia min..but she’s leaving already..

        friends who i think is not advisable to keep..junne..pingqing..yen..i’m sorry to say this..but..it’s true..other than tvxq, sjam, there’s ntg much to talk bout..except dat junne always complains bout her sisters and bro…it sometimes interesting to listen but sometimes you just get fed up with it..because it’s like she’s doing all the talking and not letting you a chance to talk..she wants all the attention..etc..some goes to yen n pq…

         and those 3 "friends" i think they give me more negative influence than positve…i should cut down as many negative influence as possible..i dun wanna turn out bad..or a sick emo goth girl…or..a whiny baby who whines and complains about everything..anything which got to hard to handle..

         aihx…i’m sorry if you read this blog and feel very offended..but a blog is supposed to be an expression of someone’s deep feelings and thoughts..so everything i wrote is true…but i still consider everyone a friend..good friends..but not the best or the truest…just good enough to accompany me till my highschool days are over…

         Aish…2day’s d last day of school…T.T i know i shud be happy cz of hols…but..but…next year i’ll be stepping into form 4..i’ll be 16 years OLD…OLD!!!! gosh…i feel 16 years old is very old…aish..

        i have no idea why is 16 called sweet sixteen…it shud be sour sixteen…and fabulous fifteen…hahah…16 seems…old..

        somehow..15 seems like the right age..and..dis year of skul just ended…T.T and quite alot of people is leaving..*sobx* jia min’s leaving to Kampar..mun yee left for america..jean mae’s leaving for australia..so is simone…T.T sumore hu ar…lemme think…ah! koh jia yen leaving for china..though i’m nt close with her..but..it’s like EVERYONE’s leaving…it makes me feel sad…real sad…and jia min..

         i’m quite close with her..she’s my big bro…when she leaves..things won’t be d same odi..there’ll be less one person to tease..to laugh with..to go through school life with…and just imagine..in form 5..everyone will be leaving..who knows when we’ll meet again? 1 month? 1 year? 10 years? maybe we’ll wont meet again..T.T we’ll all go our separate ways..live our lifes..leaving our memories embedded in our hearts and mind..deep down..

         separation is a part of life..out with the old, in with the new…when an old one goes, a new one comes…i guess…旧的不走，新的不来。 aish…i feel so sad la..all of a sudden…maybe i’m afraid…fear for losing someone..but one day everyone has to go..

          these few days i’ve been talking to myself..and thinking to myself..as in..argueing with me in my head…it’s like me vs me…it’s giving me a headache…

          if you ask me to just stop doing it..i’m sry..i can’t…it comes randomly…i cant control it..it just suddenly starts..of all of a sudden a conversation with myself will start in my head…i’m wondering is it dat i’m crazy…aihx..

         i read a book before..it says dat your mind and your brain are 2 different things..the mind is a very powerful item..a powerful asset..if properly handled..it could be a good thing..if you can’t..it’ll bring disaster..

          it also says..we must control our mind not let our mind control yourself…it’s very hard…XS aihx…oh yea..it also asks us to ask ourselves who is the "I" in your head..or who is the "myself" in your head..it’s very puzzling…people always go to the phychiatrist(is dat how u spell it??) and say.."there’s a voice in my head.." in fact..everyone hears a voice in their head..right??

         aihx..i read d book halfway cz it’s nt mine…it’s my uncle’s…i was accompanying my aunt in d hospital then..(she had a surgery)..i was bored..so i read d book i saw..i forgot what’s it’s called..but i really wanna finish reading d book…aihx..

        so am i fighting with my mind to win control?? i wonder if there’s a war going on in my head…really..i do wonder..i think dat’s all i wanna say..i nid 2 search for pics..and watch vids..XD byex!!

         here i am…blagging again..whoops..i mean blogging…heheh..ah well..i blog quite often these days…but 2day…i seriously need to blog!! I was soooo angry 2day…

       2day got jazz chant ma…so start lo…cheered and everything…when prinia came up..d fukai stephanie cheng was in it…me, kar yen n suet yan was crossing our fingers..hoping she won’t DESTROY anymore tvxq songs..was hoping and praying…but GOSH!!!

      she "rapped" no..i wouldn’t call it rap..i would call it say..or conversing..or..talking..nah…she practically blurted out..she blurted out "sky" from tvxq….at first i din hear clearly..but i heard "end of sky"…gosh..den i told kar yen..den she told suet yan..aish aish aish…

     den when dey announced d winners..prinia got no.2!!! GOSH!!! like seriously…NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! like..NNNOOOOO!!!!!!!!! WHY DEM?????!!! i was like "fukai fukai fukai….!!!" gosh..i use dat work alot..XP anyway…fukai fukai fukai…why must she choose tvxq song?? dammit….ish ish ish…

     den dey nid 2 perform AGAIN!!! ish…den 2nd time listened C-L-E-A-R-L-Y!!!! man..i hate her..first she ruined "hug"…now "sky"…den there was 5 bimbos who danced "O" …tvxq..aihx..pity you to haf fans like dis…T.T

     tvxq tvxq tvxq….aihx…セテファに,僕わあなた大きらいです！！アイエンマ,お願い．．僕の恨み地獄え流します！お願い！T.T

じゃ。。。復ね！！序と待て…さよなら！！！

Last Friday…went for a trip to Kuala Sepetang..arrived at skul..opop send..cz thought got briefing..in d end dun haf..^^; swt…so mark attendance odi…line up to go up d bus…was in bus 1 wit junne, pq, n kar yen…while lining up..we just remembered dat we had 2 take vids..but it failed..T_T so we just went up d bus..pinq qing was shouting jap.."school desu!!".."ping qing desu!!".."junne desu!!".."kar yen desu!!".."yi jern desu!!!"…i was like -.-; den i said..school is gakeun…lolz..den she started shouting..den pn seow came up..she said.."sensei desu!" "okasan desu!!"…^^;

     so started moving..so bored..took some pics of d scenery..misty..den we stopped at a rest stop..took some pics there..lolz..i bought polo mint..den we we started off again..we arrived at d hutan paya bakau..got a short talk..watched a slideshow..pingqing was so hyper..kept on pointing to d animals she saw saying.."kar yen n jaejoong er.." "junsu n i-may with their kids ar!!" lolz..so ulu..den we went for a walk through d forest..took plenty of pics…d critters in d forest was miniature size..so small and very hard to spot..aihx..we saw wild boar dung too..heheh..

       oh yea..there were plenty of mosquitoes too..lolz..luckily none of dem bit me..i squished one..hehe..after d hutan paya bakau..we went to the charcoal factory..cz charcoal is made from bakau logs ma…gosh d air there..polluted like hell..can hardly breathe..so much smoke..dust..urgh…d logs were burned in an igloo..i mean a thing which has a shape of an igloo..it was so warm in it..i went into d "igloo"…gosh..it was like..an oven to bake humans in groups..i think i understand how d breads feel..T.T

      There was another batch of "igloo" for steaming d logs..d product was a brown liquid..it smells like sap..nt smelly..nt fragranted either…i touched..it was surprisingly cool..i expected it to be warm or hot wan geh..but it’s cool..funny..after the charcoal factory..we went to makan…ping qing belanja..^^ ありがと！hehhe…

     den we went to Taiping Zoo..first thing i see..monkeys..started to record a video..ping qing was pointing at a monkey and shouting "junne desu!! JUNNE DESU!!!!" lolz…den when i stopped d video and replayed it..my battery ran out of juice..aihx…shud have brought my extra batteries down with me..ish…T.T den we saw orang utans..gosh..so sad…one was sitting with it’s head hanging down as if it was in depression..you can clearly see that it’s losing fur..i pity it..the other 2 was just sitting there..doing nothing..isn’t the orang utans shud be swinging around?? gosh..

     den we saw d sunbears..OMG!! one sunbear came to the fence and looked at us..when we walked pass it..it followed us..gosh..as if it wants us to release it from the hell it’s in..when pq, jn n ky went ahead..i stayed behind a lil’ while then walk away..when d sunbear lost sight of me..it sat down on d ground and place it’s head between its 2 paws and started to make a sound..a crying sound..i almost cried…it’s just so sad..i called dem back..den dey we’re like very berat hati to leave it..so sad..T.T

         den we saw other animals..we came across a peacock..you can see it’s losing its lovely feathers…it wouldn’t open it..T.T den we saw d camels..gosh..you can see their ribcage…so thin…sad sad animals…oh yea..d wild boars..on d sign board it wrote "babi bodoh" like…wth la…of all names..babi bodoh?? aihx..den we saw a hyena..it was in a cage..a man was scaring it by kicking the cage..hyenas’ are supposed to be like..feirce animals..and here it’s afraid of a tiny human..and i could hear its’ babies crying for her..d hyena was pacing..it’s worried..pity the poor thing…T.T we stood there feeling sorry for it..but we can’t do a single thing..i felt so useles..

        and d snakes..aiyo..really pity dem..dey are so lifeless..all curled up on d ground..i mean in a glass prison…aren’t they supposed to be slithering on branches or move around..ok..maybe they are not moving cause they jz had a meal..or maybe they don’t have enough space to move..d glass prison was like just 1/2 metre wide, 1 metre long..so small…pity..

       oh yea..i saw a kangaroo..it’s lying down..aren’t kangaroos supposed to be jumping and leaping around?? or at least standing?? here they are..lying down..so…so…sad…then after the long and tiring walk through d zoo..we bought ice lollies..ate them..den went back up d bus..princess hours were playing on d tv in d bus..

     i watched it a lil’ while den slept…so tired..den we arrived at Kuala Kangsar..selling potteries as souvenirs…i din buy anything…den we went 2 d padang…near our bus there…and took a pic…lolz..den we went back to ipoh…slept on d way back…

    in conclusion..i pity d animals..and i actually expected d trip to be better…and more interesting…we shud haf visited d pottery site earlier and tried to make some pots to bring back..aihx..so dat’s all la…ppl..whoever read dis blog..pls..pray for the animals in d zoo..take pity on them…

ahahaha…new post…2 posts in 1 day..dis one is a different wan la…it’s bout 2day…gt miss mgs..^^

at first leh..i felt bored..i went 2 d back of d upper hall n read d murder book..i-may’s wan…den mei foong came..^^ den aish..i’ll skip these parts la..blah blah blah..form 4 came in..no idea why..den form 2 came in..ish!! isn’t dis supposed 2 be form 3 activity?? ish ish ish….

den cincai la..den gat zat join me n mei foong…heheh..den start luu..d contestants..my class is janna n nikkitha..nikkitha shudn’t join..she’s nt pretty oso..no offense..but dat’s what i think..i think peng han or pay leng or carynne or maybe gwyneth shud join..hoo kah yin oso can wan..but i heard she volunteered…cis..

     den question..question..blah blah…2nd round..gosh…talent…quite alot of ppl sang..cis..out of tune wan..*shakes head* wong kah yee played d "gu zhen" hehe..it’s quite boring at first..but i very pui fok her..well..cz i dun know how 2 play..i alwiz liked it..^^ den..janna danced.teh kah yee oso danced..gosh..teh kah yee’s dance.."ai ni" …she ruined it..fa hao..eee yer…den when d last person..stephanie cheng..GOSH!!! really..fukai her!! (fukai means unpleasent) fukai fukai fukai!!!! she sang "hug" …when i heard it ar…man..i was sooo angry…she sang out of tune!!! wana throw shoe odi.."ying sui sai" tvxq..ish..i nearly cried..gosh..i was so mad…><

    thank god she didn’t make it 2 d final round..phew..if nt really fukai her…ish…suet yan cried..lolz..so emotional..T_T then last round..questions..den catwalk..heheh..poor janna..got such a tough question..though i don’t really like her..but she’s representing our class..so..she gt bout astrounaut..so hard..but for jia min easy la..she said prepare food..etc..lolz..rubbish..hehehe…

so in d end..wong kah yee won..2nd was meng ying..it was quite expected..janna got 4th..she cried in class..tsk..teruk..like dat oso cry..tsk..ah well..wtv..

       then dat’s d end…hehehe…aihx…my abdomen hurts..yesterday at miss wendy’s class..gosh..stretch until ar…pq n junne oso pain..lolz..my thigh oso hurts…itai!! ほんとに痛いです！！じゃ、さよなら！！

  finally i have time to blog…no la..actually i still haf pics to see…but if i dun blog today…i’ll never do it..XD

what i wanted to blog was..bout a P.Ramlee movie i watched last saturday..it’s called Seniman Bujang Lapok….it’s HILARIOUS!!!! laugh my head off…lolz..p.ramlee is called ramli in d movie oso..so ok…

    ramli and his buddies went to audition/ try out for acting..ramli went first..his line was supposed to be "wahai adinda, <something> bercekarama, di bawah sinaran bulan purnama~" but when d director say action..he jz stood there..d director whispered to him "caaakkkaaappp.." he whispered back, "cakap apa?" lolz…den CUT!! d director said..kenapa saya kata action kamu tak cakap dialog kamu?" he replied.."kamu suruh saya action tak suruh cakap.." lolz..laugh like hell la…den take 2..action!!

ramlee: wahai adinda, <something> bercekarama, di bawah lampu minyak tanah~

director: CUT!! apa lampu minyak tanah pulak??

ramlee: boss..hari itu hujan, tunggu tunggu bulan tak muncul..

lolz!!!! dumb rite..den he failed lo…den his fren..sudin..i forgot what he said la..aish..goldfish brain la me..XD he failed oso..den another fren..he was in d toilet..he was afraid..lolz..den d director demo to him one time…different line dis time..it’s "Hei! hang jebat! Kamu cepat turun <something something>…" den ACTION!!

i forgot d name of d fren odi..he said: hei hang jebat! kau cepat turun sini..kalau kamu tak turun, aku akan naik pergi cari kamu..<something> aku sudah 5 kali buang air kecil, 3 kali buang air besar, sekarang aku mahu pergi buang lagi..buang sampai tadak air nak buang.." lolz…den d director said "CUT!!!apa kena dengan awak buang air??" dumb la…

somehow dey were so funny..dey gt hired..lolz..den dey haf 2 memorize a script la..so d next day..

ramlee: beta, satan aminor <something>

CUT!!!!

director: sultan! bukan satan!! XD

Action!!!

ramlee: <say correct>

fren: <said sumthing wrong n start again den correct, leave scene>

sudin: <as a bomoh, said correct>

ramlee: semalam, beta mimpi ada tahi lembu menimpa muka beta..apa maksud itu?

sudin: itu bermaksud ada masalah akan menimpa tuanku..

ramlee: oh..sebenarnya ia tersasar kena bahu sedikit..

sudin: oh..itu bermaksud tuanku akan menimpa masalah besar..

ramlee: ah..sebenarnya ia tahi lembu it menimpa director..

sudin: itu bermaksud director akan mati..

CUT!!

director: apa kena mengena saya dalam ini??!! <faints..to much pressure..>

lolz…farny la….u shud watch it..this is only a small part of it..other P.Ramlee movies i watched are..Labu Labi, Ali Baba Bujang Lapok, Pak Belalang, Seniman Bujang Lapok..dat’s all i think..it’s really funny la…lolz…

aihx..i typed so much in dis blog…new post!!!