in a state of depression~
I’m nw writing this with a calm and cool mind…anger and frustration might be provoked later..BEWARE!
it all started when i told my dad bout d concert…and the ticket price..for VIP it’s rm500…expensive i know..but it’s VIP..VIP..if i buy it might get to touch their hands…it’s VERY VERY CLOSE TO THE STAGE!!!! seriously…
on sunday..junne smsed me saying she got d VIP tickets…my eyes went O.O so i smsed my dad asking whether can i buy dem anot…when he came..gosh..there it began…he said i was crazy…this was what he said to me.."RM500 can feed a whole family ar!!" "Jz bcuz ur fren go means u mz go la??!!" "I told u dat all ur frens are wild nw u oso follow dem wild.." "Ur frenz rich ma, dey can afford" and the nagging n insults go on…
then i thought to trade d phone wan geh..but he said.."I’d rather buy u a phone worth RM500 than to let u go 2 d concert!!" there went my last hope..crushed…smashed to pieces…and of course…i started crying..it’s a huge dissapointment..i’m depressed..
when i reached home..i hid in my room..my mom asked me..she was quite gentle with me..unlike my dad..she told me it’s nt safe..blah blah blah…den i said my cousin was goin with my aunt oso…den she went to call her..i fell asleep crying..
my cousin n aunt came..my couz came into my room..i pretended to continue sleeping..i thought dat she’d leave..but NO…she woke me up..i ignored her..den she said she’s nt goin unless she wins d tickets..dat time i felt dat she betrayed me..betrayed my trust..she told me dat she’ll go!!! i put high hopes on her!! damn i hate her now…when she’s in my room i wanted to shout at her "U said u were going!! NOW U SAY U’RE NOT??!! HOW CAN YOU?!! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!!" of cz i didn’t..cz it’ll jz make things worse..
den dey went home…i slept again..my eyes were very swollen frm all d crying..during dat nap..i dreamt dat i went 2 their concert..but it’s a lil’ weird…nt like d normal concerts everyone has..i was there with kar yen..no idea why..v had d cheap tickets..so v were behind..but one gud thing is..u can drive around d stadium go in circles..of cz..i saw junsu..n jae..wow..din c others..n u can buy drinks..n u haf a driver 2 drive u around..i remembe rsaying to kar yen.."i like our driver la..very ’sing mok’.." n she agreed with me..hehe..den poof!
back to reality…i woke up..bath..went 2 i-may’s party..gosh..my eyes are REALLY swollen…thank god no one asked me why..n it’s quite shocking dat jia min didn’t notice..i was with her all d time..cacat..oh yea..she wore PINK!! ahahhaha..
ok..back to depression…do u think i’m dealing with peer pressure?? maybe i am..my dad said if i continue on like dat he might nt let me be friends with my friends anymore..if dat happens..i wont haf anymore frens…maybe it’s my fault…i made friends with rich ppl..ppl hu can afford stuffs i can’t afford…rich ppl…gosh..i feel so inferior…
Perhaps my dad thinks i’m having peer pressure..n cant deal with it..but i think i deal with it jz fine..my frens haf nice clothes..what do i haf?? hand me downs..clothes which is nt wearable in public..my frens haf nice shoes..what do i haf?? a rugged hand me down shoe frm my bro..my fren..no everyone has coloured/camera phones..what do i haf?? a cacated phone..no colour..did i complain?? NO…did i ask for anything like dat??? NO!! And u think i cant handle with peer pressure??!! u’ve gotta be kidding me..i saved hundreds of ur precious money by nt goin 2 tuition!! nt goin 2 so many extra classes..!!!
*chill* ok…dat’s all i wana complain..i feel much better…^^
thanks to anyone hu read dis long and disturbing post of mine..^^
