My Blog

aihz…i wanted to blog..but i have loads of pics to see…gah..

later la…

http://z11.invisionfree.com/JaeJoongsKitchen/index.php?

dat’s where i’m seeing pics..

see leng zai..hehehe..later!

   I think I’m cursed…seriously…cursed…it’s like…I dunno how to explain…but there’s something always pulling me back…weird things happen to me…scary things happen to me…

    Last night when i was casually watching tv..in the living room…i heard someone walking outside my house..it’s normal for me to respond to any weird noises…it was like..dat someone was dragging his feet on the road..so i looked..no one…

  I continued watching tv…den i heard the noise again..i looked into the darkness outside..i saw an indian man wearing a white singlet..making a whispering noise.."PSSSSTTT!! PPSSSSTT!!!" i quickly looked back at the tv..this had happened to me before..same conditions..watching tv..at night..i think it’s the same man…but last time i walked up and called my mum..den he was gone when my mum came..this time my mum was sleeping..so i ignored him..

         it’s scary..i know dat the man was looking at me…my heart thumped like mad…i hugged a pillow..continue to watch tv…after a few minutes..the man was gone..it was scary..at night..and indian man wearing a WHITE..i repeat..WHITE singlet..so scary…

        nt only dat..sometimes i feel like i’m cursed cause everytime i stop frm an extra class..d class sure shrink wan..like my piano class last time..i went to Yamaha..it was a huge block of building..after i quit..it shrunk into one block only..it was 3 blocks before..so sometimes i feel i caused it to happen..it’s nt a nice feeling….

        products oso…the products i use like shampoo..when i use them…u can see ads everywhere…on tv..etc etc…when i stopped using it…gosh..nowhere to be seen…after a few years…oni can see it again…so it’s like i’m a bad luck…

       and oh yea…things which i imagine or dreams i remember NEVER come true..like..i imagine going to tvxq concert vip standings with my friends..n couz…it did not come true..i couldn’t get a vip ticket…T_T fine..maybe dat’s an imagination to wild..then what about when i imagine simple things which i can get easily?? Like like..uhm…i duno…getting rewarded..like getting an ice cream..or going to somewhere for holidays with my parents..? i jz can’t get what i imagine…

         dreams too..whatever dream i remember..it is guaranteed not to come true..seriously…then..whatever i don’t remember..it’ll become a deja vu…i hate it…cz my deja vu’s are all stupid stuffs…simple stuffs…ntg big..somthing which are very normal which occurs in my daily life…

       it’s like i’m cursed….cursed to get what i don’t want and cursed of not getting what i want…some ppl are so lucky but they just do not realise it…ppl who think they are poor…but actually..they’re rich..aihx…..nevermind me…

        gosh….last night’s incident is still haunting me…i don’t wanna experience it again…it’s scary i tell you…seriously….XS

I’m nw writing this with a calm and cool mind…anger and frustration might be provoked later..BEWARE!

it all started when i told my dad bout d concert…and the ticket price..for VIP it’s rm500…expensive i know..but it’s VIP..VIP..if i buy it might get to touch their hands…it’s VERY VERY CLOSE TO THE STAGE!!!! seriously…

on sunday..junne smsed me saying she got d VIP tickets…my eyes went O.O so i smsed my dad asking whether can i buy dem anot…when he came..gosh..there it began…he said i was crazy…this was what he said to me.."RM500 can feed a whole family ar!!" "Jz bcuz ur fren go means u mz go la??!!" "I told u dat all ur frens are wild nw u oso follow dem wild.." "Ur frenz rich ma, dey can afford" and the nagging n insults go on…

then i thought to trade d phone wan geh..but he said.."I’d rather buy u a phone worth RM500 than to let u go 2 d concert!!" there went my last hope..crushed…smashed to pieces…and of course…i started crying..it’s a huge dissapointment..i’m depressed..

when i reached home..i hid in my room..my mom asked me..she was quite gentle with me..unlike my dad..she told me it’s nt safe..blah blah blah…den i said my cousin was goin with my aunt oso…den she went to call her..i fell asleep crying..

my cousin n aunt came..my couz came into my room..i pretended to continue sleeping..i thought dat she’d leave..but NO…she woke me up..i ignored her..den she said she’s nt goin unless she wins d tickets..dat time i felt dat she betrayed me..betrayed my trust..she told me dat she’ll go!!! i put high hopes on her!! damn i hate her now…when she’s in my room i wanted to shout at her "U said u were going!! NOW U SAY U’RE NOT??!! HOW CAN YOU?!! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!!" of cz i didn’t..cz it’ll jz make things worse..

den dey went home…i slept again..my eyes were very swollen frm all d crying..during dat nap..i dreamt dat i went 2 their concert..but it’s a lil’ weird…nt like d normal concerts everyone has..i was there with kar yen..no idea why..v had d cheap tickets..so v were behind..but one gud thing is..u can drive around d stadium go in circles..of cz..i saw junsu..n jae..wow..din c others..n u can buy drinks..n u haf a driver 2 drive u around..i remembe rsaying to kar yen.."i like our driver la..very ’sing mok’.." n she agreed with me..hehe..den poof!

back to reality…i woke up..bath..went 2 i-may’s party..gosh..my eyes are REALLY swollen…thank god no one asked me why..n it’s quite shocking dat jia min didn’t notice..i was with her all d time..cacat..oh yea..she wore PINK!! ahahhaha..

ok..back to depression…do u think i’m dealing with peer pressure?? maybe i am..my dad said if i continue on like dat he might nt let me be friends with my friends anymore..if dat happens..i wont haf anymore frens…maybe it’s my fault…i made friends with rich ppl..ppl hu can afford stuffs i can’t afford…rich ppl…gosh..i feel so inferior…

Perhaps my dad thinks i’m having peer pressure..n cant deal with it..but i think i deal with it jz fine..my frens haf nice clothes..what do i haf?? hand me downs..clothes which is nt wearable in public..my frens haf nice shoes..what do i haf?? a rugged hand me down shoe frm my bro..my fren..no everyone has coloured/camera phones..what do i haf?? a cacated phone..no colour..did i complain?? NO…did i ask for anything like dat??? NO!! And u think i cant handle with peer pressure??!! u’ve gotta be kidding me..i saved hundreds of ur precious money by nt goin 2 tuition!! nt goin 2 so many extra classes..!!!

*chill* ok…dat’s all i wana complain..i feel much better…^^

thanks to anyone hu read dis long and disturbing post of mine..^^

Days before PMR

Whoa..loads of paper to do…maths, geo, bm, bi, sej, etc…do until wana puke…urgh..now pile up bout 15cm tall oso gt ar…or more..imagine..how many trees are wasted…tsk..tsk..tsk….stress..stress…….

den on saturday..i slept at 4am…i woke up at 7.45am…i was shocked myself…it’s like 3 3/4 hours of sleep and i woke up all my myself…SHOCKING!!! i still couldn’t believe it…really…

PMR week

Bm on monday…gosh..i was depressed after paper 2…everyone was….waaaaaaa…

Tuesday-english and science…surprisingly easy peasy…of cz gt some hard questions la…XD

Wednesday-maths n sejarah…maths was Ok..sejarah was like moral..loads of nilai…ppl came out of d exam hall complaining..and oh yea..i drooled on my sejarah question paper..XD..i know it was gross…but i did drool…i didn’t know..when i woke up..i was like whoops…*wipe*..turn another side..*sleep*..aahhaha

Thursday-KH…i tembak a lot of questions..lolz..

Friday(today)-Geography….ok la….nt dat hard..nt very easy either…okok lo…

The second Geo paper is collected

Everyone cheered!!! i screamed!! so happy!!!it’s like a burden being lifted frm my back…what a relieve…^^

Overall-i carved my table with scribbles n scratches..hahahha…but i’m a little worried..cz my slip is there…hmm…nvm la…who cares!! ahahahha….PMR’s OVERRR!!!!! I can flush it down d toilet odi…muahahahhahaha…goodbye PMR!!!!!!! BUH BYE!!!!

*sry..to happy..sot liao..ahahah*

p/s:i forgot 2 mention…during PMR…i felt like something was sucking my energy out…like dat sumthing stucked a straw in my head and started sucking..*sluurrrpppsssllluuurrrrpppp**ahhh* i was so tired during PMR…luckily dat somthing went away after PMR..^^